What Determines Astrological Compatibility?

Which planets and placements impact your romantic relationship the most?

“But he’s a Leo! We’re supposed to be compatible!”

I’ve heard something like this so many times—just change the zodiac sign and the story stays the same. But I’m going to let you in on a little secret (and yes, it might sound wild):

Zodiac signs alone don’t decide who’s a match.

In astrology, love and relationships are ruled by Venus and Mars—not your sun sign. Venus is about love. Mars is about desire. So if you’re only using sun signs to guess compatibility, it’s like judging a person’s talent by what they like instead of what they can actually do.

If you want to really understand relationship energy, there’s one tool that works best in astrology: Synastry.

What Is Synastry?

Synastry is when you compare two birth charts—yours and your partner’s. It shows how your energies mix, especially how your masculine and feminine sides interact. This technique looks at how your Venus and Mars work with someone else’s.

In love, balance between these energies matters. Let’s explore what each one means.

Venus: Love and Your Heart

Venus shows your emotional side—how you give and receive love, what makes you feel cared for, and how you bond with others on a heart level.

Everyone has both masculine and feminine energy. Venus shows your feminine side—your heart space. This space might be quiet in some people, or very strong in others. But it’s always there.

In synastry, your Venus tells us:

• How you want to bond (touch, talk, or time together)

• How you show love

• What makes you feel loved

When two partners have very different Venus signs, misunderstandings can happen. A common example:

• Partner A has Venus in an earth sign. They show love by doing helpful things, like fixing stuff or carrying heavy bags.

• Partner B has Venus in a water sign. They want words like “I love you” or emotional closeness.

Without knowing this, both people can feel unloved—even though they are trying. They’re just using different love languages. With some understanding, this can be fixed—and the connection gets even deeper.

Mars: Passion and Personal Drive

Mars is your fire. It shows your desire, your boundaries, your motivation, and how you handle conflict. It’s your inner warrior.

In synastry, Mars tells us:

• How you go after someone you’re attracted to

• How you show passion

• How you argue—and whether the conflict is helpful or harmful

Hard Mars aspects between two charts can lead to power struggles or fights. But they can also spark strong attraction.

Here’s the important part: Mars shows how two people connect and clash. Are you fighting each other—or fighting together for something you both care about?

Mars also shows how you act on your own. But in relationships, Mars works best when it flows with Venus.

Venus + Mars: Where Chemistry Happens

This is where synastry becomes powerful.

One of the strongest signs of romantic success is when the feminine partner’s Venus connects well with the masculine partner’s Mars, and the other way around.

• Her Venus wants love, safety, and connection

• His Mars wants to protect, pursue, and be seen

When these energies work well together, attraction is strong and trust is easy. Both partners feel wanted and understood.

But this isn’t just about gender. True connection also happens when:

• Her Mars is loved by his Venus (her strength is respected)

• His Venus feels safe with her Mars (his heart trusts her actions)

When both people respect and support each other’s inner masculine and feminine sides, it builds strong and lasting love.

In that kind of relationship, outside stress doesn’t cause cracks. The love stays strong. The passion stays alive. Even disagreements become chances to grow instead of reasons to walk away.

Start With Synastry

Whether you’re in a relationship, looking for one, or thinking about your past, synastry can show you patterns you might not have seen before. It can reveal:

• Why you keep having the same problems

• Why some people light you up—and others wear you out

• How your own Venus and Mars shape your love life

Even just looking at your own chart—your Venus and Mars—can teach you a lot about how you connect, what you look for, and what blocks you from love.

If love has ever felt hard, confusing, or out of reach, here’s the good news:

Synastry gives you a map. Not just for who to love—but for how to love better.

May the stars guide your way,
Aleks